Climbing Should Not Equal Visiting an Amusement Park

When I visit six flags I expect to wait in lines for hours to get my sixty-seven second rollercoaster adrenaline fix. Most of the day is spent standing in lines anticipating thrills next to hundreds of other people doing the same thing. I will wait fifty-seven minutes to ride the Griffon at Bush Gardens; I will not wait fifty-seven minutes for a climb.

Climbing is inherently freeing, thus I have many issues with waiting in lines to get on routes, even if they are “classics.” Why should I sit around and watch three other groups get on a climb when I could be climbing? I would be automatically be giving up a potential onsite, don’t climb hard enough routes for the eighth assent to still be cool, and I could have had my hands on rock for two extra hours.

I don’t have problems waiting for my friends to climb a route before I give it a burn, especially if it’s pushing my grade and they’re hanging the draws (I can be a wimp). I do have some patience. However, the idea of spending most of my day waiting to get on one or two routes doesn’t get me psyched to climb. Additionally, I have a tendency to yard sale all my gear, tossing flannels and containers of peanut butter in areas covering up to 100 square feet. This practice is not easily accommodated and is even less appreciated at crowded crags.  

So, if you’re like me and want to avoid the lines and the crowds, here are some tips:

1. NEVER EVER visit Rumney on a beautiful weekend day between the months of May and October unless you’re planning to get there at 4am and catch the sunrise at the anchors (which would be cool).
2. Climb at night, especially if it’s bouldering (though not at Lincoln Woods – see previous post).
3. Get your cardio in and choose a longer approach; it weeds out the lazy people who like the two-hour breaks they get waiting for closer climbs.
4. Try out less traveled crags that still have a handful of quality routes.
5. Stick to crags where the sport routes start at or above 5.11; you’ll immediately lose the top rope guide groups camped out at the 5.7 next to the five-star 12c you wanted to hop on.
6. Don’t be afraid to go out on days predicted to rain. I’ve done most of the moderate routes on Rumney’s usually packed parking lot wall on days the forecast scared everyone away. It didn’t rain.
7. Take a Tuesday off once in a while to hit up those classics that are packed with weekend-warriors Saturday and Sunday.
8. Climb when there’s snow on the ground. Bring a tarp to keep your shoes dry, unthaw your fingers with the hand warmers stashed in your chalk bag, and have a thermos of hot chocolate cause it’s yummy. 

And if you simply must climb on a beautiful Saturday in October—I wouldn’t be able to resist either—try to get there early, or if you’re my friends and me: stay late. Or give all those wonky 5.9 negative-three-start anti-classics a try while someone else waits in line for Technosurfing; it’s the only excuse you’ll ever have for doing them.